


When You Leap Into The Abyss

by simplebitch



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Gen, Here Lies the Abyss questline, carver is the warden, hawke loves her shitty little brother, i didn't wanna spam tags, idk man it's my first work, leaving hawke behind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8440219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplebitch/pseuds/simplebitch
Summary: This is just an idea I had about Hawke's experience after being left behind in the Fade.





	

“ _Bloody hell Carver! Get the fuck out of here!” There was no time to think as the great terror approached, only time to act. To do what she always did; protect her family by any means necessary._

_“Inquisitor!” The man had an apology written all over his face, but she didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t care. There were bigger problems to worry about. “Get my brother back home. And take care of Varric for me.”_  

Marian Hawke awoke with a gasp, which was a pleasant surprise considering she rather expected not to wake up at all. And, well, she was regretting it a lot as the pain set in with a nasty set of vertigo as she forced herself to sit up and take stock of her surroundings. She was still in the Fade, she recognized the broken and disjointed scenery, the always present view of the Black City and, more pressing, the corpse of the monster still sprawled out, her staff sticking through one of its eyes.

The blood mage forced herself to her feet, ignoring the gush of dark, sluggish blood that oozed down her side, and the way her muscles screamed out in pain. It was tiring work, she knew, fighting demons in the Fade. The kind of work that took a lot out of a person.

There was a cut across her right eye, vision blacked out, and she couldn’t see—didn’t know if she would ever be able to, and truly it would be so easy to just give up then and there. Lie back down, allow her spirit to rot away, to pass over to the other side, where Mother and Father, and Bethany were waiting.

Marian felt the whisper of a reprimand at that, a shiver that ran down her spine warning her against such an action. She gave herself a rough shake of the head, almost regretting it as soon as her vision started spinning and her equilibrium went tits up.

She had _never_ just given up.

Not when her world had come crashing down, not when she’d been forced to flee from her home, when her sister had died, when she’d watched her mother become an—

The Fade shimmered around the mage as her rage built, the spirits that were slowly starting to return to the spot twisting and shifting in interest at the presence of the mage. Not just any mage though, but one that was present. Physically. A real life manifestation that passed through the veil, such a thing hadn’t happened since Warden Mahariel had been yanked through the tears in the Blackmarsh.

The sound of the mage ripping her staff from the carcass of the monster echoed, and Marian stumbled back when it finally gave way.

As though the length of dragon bone was the only thing anchoring the corpse to the present, as soon as the blade broke free it started to fade into dust.

Marian was stuck in the Fade, uncertain of how she would escape, of whether she would ever see her home again, the ones she loved. Was she destined to waste away? Her soul to become trapped, to become a spirit of the Fade like the Divine’s?

Varric would mourn and move on, would immortalize her as best he could in his stories, until the name _Hawke_ grew louder than the title of Champion ever could. Carver and Aveline had their duties; something needed to be done for the Grey Wardens now that this mess was over, and Kirkwall still needed her guard captain. Anders was safe, doing what he could with the refugees while assisting Mahariel in his quest, and Fenris… they hadn’t always gotten along, but they’d respected each other. He had survived long before her, and he would be just fine without her.

But that left Isabela, her pirate queen, to mourn her loss. To weather the heartbreak alone.

Not alone. She would have Merrill, they would have each other, would take care of each other unless Marian could find a way back to them.

The flash of a mirror caught her eye, the reflection in it twisted and warped.

Even so she had to admit she looked like hell, barely supported by her staff, white hair matted red from dried blood and her eye beyond hope. But it gave her an idea, a hope; Merrill’s mirror!

The eluvian hadn’t been destroyed, and what was it Morrigan had said? They were portals, passages between great distances and even the Fade. If she could find one, could find the network and the crossroads maybe she could—she wasn’t sure.

There was no guarantee that she’d find any of them, let alone be able to discover a way to activate it.

It was a terrible plan, but it was the best one she had.

With a murmured prayer the mage began walking. Her destination was uncertain, beyond the fact that she wanted away from there.

In her mind’s eye Marian imagined that she was walking the familiar path home, from the Hanged Man, through Lowtown, up the stairs and through the Market Square of Hightown, winding around the courtyards back to the manor. When she arrived home Bodhan would open the door, Bear excitedly bouncing around his feet, ready to play. Isabela would be there to ease her out of her armor, deft fingers and teasing touches, before Merrill came bounding in with the promise of dinner.

Home.

The thought of warmth and laughter were the last things on her mind when her knees gave out and the mage sank down to the ground, darkness claiming her.

* * *

 

“Well, well, well, what have we here?” Marian whipped around at the familiar voice, grip tightening on her staff as she looked through the menacing shadows of the trees.

The Fade rearranged itself around the inhabitant’s thoughts, and _why_ it chose the Kocari Wilds of all places, she wasn’t sure.

“Where are you?” She shouted, head rotating to try and create a full field of vision. “Show yourself!”

“Used to be we never got visitors to the Fade.” Flemeth sauntered out from behind the thick trunks, looking not a day older since the last time Marian had seen her… ten years ago.

The older woman gave her an edged smile, eyes glinting predatorily. “Hello again, girl. Quite the predicament you’re in.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm dipping my toe into writing for the Dragon Age fandom, and I wanted to do it with my favorite Red!Hawke, blood mage. Though her name is Marian, she is not the default Hawke. This ties in with a lot of headcanons I have for her/her relationship with Flemeth/the Hawke family. Feedback is appreciated, but please be gentle :)


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